Introduction to ‘The Ten’

Journalist E.A. Hanks has unveiled her memoir, The Ten: A Memoir of Family and the Open Road, which delves into her complex childhood and the profound influence of her late mother, Susan Dillingham. In a recent segment on CBS Mornings, Hanks shared that both her father, renowned actor Tom Hanks, and her brother, Colin Hanks, were among the first to read her understanding portrayal of family life.

Initial Reactions

Reflecting on her father’s feedback, Hanks said, “The first thing my dad said is, ‘This is an accurate portrayal of what it was to love and fear this woman.’” This affirmation set the stage for her writing to flourish, as she felt she had authentically captured her mother’s essence.

A Journey of Reflection

Hanks’ memoir recounts a transformative six-month journey along Interstate 10, spanning from California to Florida. This road trip became a vehicle for her to explore her mother’s life and, in turn, better understand her own challenging upbringing. Hanks candidly stated, “I’m just another girl trying to make sense of her dead, crazy mother.”

Understanding Addiction and Mental Health

Growing up in a household influenced by addiction, Hanks explained that while she had the language to address substance abuse—due to her mother hosting 12-step programs—she lacked the appropriate vocabulary for mental illness. She shared, “I had a language for addiction because we used to host 12-step programs in our house, but there was no language for mental health and what was sort of wrong in the house.” Her memoir aims to fill this gap, creating a dialogue around these critical issues.

Confronting Abuse and Legal Hurdles

Hanks further discussed the abuse experienced in her childhood home, explaining how legal frameworks at the time required concrete evidence of physical abuse before intervention could occur. “Family law in California in the late ’80s wasn’t enough room for it. At that time, you kind of had to have the receipts of physical abuse to get pulled out of a situation,” she noted, reflecting on her eventual move to Los Angeles under difficult circumstances.

A Complex Maternal Relationship

Despite the tumultuous relationship with her mother, Hanks has chosen to honor her legacy by including her poetry in the memoir, viewing it as a way to connect with her artistic side. She remarked, “I think including her poetry in the book is a way of treating her seriously as an artist and getting back into conversation with her.” This inclusion invites readers to consider multiple facets of her mother’s identity.

Lessons Learned and Identity Reflections

In exploring the truth of her experiences, Hanks conveyed a nuanced understanding of her mother, recognizing both the good and bad days that shaped their relationship. She reflected, “The truth is, my mother had good days and bad days. And I was lucky to experience the good days, and I was shaped by the bad days.” As she matures, Hanks finds more space to accept the imperfections in both herself and her mother.

Additionally, Hanks reflects on the themes of identity and belonging, stating, “When you’re talking to stone-cold strangers, you can’t start with, ‘Tell me about your mom,’ but you can start with, ‘Tell me where you’re from.’” She emphasizes that understanding one’s roots can pave the way to deeper self-awareness.

Conclusion

The Ten: A Memoir of Family and the Open Road is now available for readers who seek to engage with Hanks’ poignant exploration of family, identity, and the roads we travel to understand our past. Through her reflections, E.A. Hanks invites us to ponder the complexities of familial love and the legacies we inherit.